My Malfunctioning Memory
Look at that alliteration! I was about to add more words with M’s into that title but decided against it. That would have gone from understandably cheesy to over-the-top trying-too-hard-cheesy. But just know, I was thinking about it. And I’m not ashamed. Anyway. Over the course of working in a building, for the past 3 months, that requires an ID badge to be swiped upon entry I have, as you may have guessed, forgotten to bring my badge quite a few times. Luckily they simply hold on to your driver’s license and give you a temporary badge for the day, or I’d be taking sick or vacation days left and right. Why take the day off? Who would commute the hour to work, then go right back home, and still have the willpower to go back in? No one. Not even you. Don’t kid yourself, you know you’d call your boss from the base of the building and be like, “Yo. I’m outside, but I’m really sick. And I don’t want you to get sick. I think I’m gonna go home. Peace.” (I had to do that when I worked at the airport and forgot my badge. HAD to, there was no choice. I got back home and found my badge, but my bed beckoned me. It’s like it tricked me into coming back home. My bed is jealous; it doesn’t want me spending time away from it.)
Having the temporary badge all day is no big deal, except I can’t take the stairs because you have to swipe to go up and down. They make things complicated for people that aren’t lazy, I guess if they had a quota to reach and had to decide where to stick the “security checkpoints” they would put them in the path of people who aren’t lazy rather than force the lazy elevator takers to swipe a badge. That would be too complex for them. Did I just call lazy-elevator-taking-people stupid by accident? I think I may have. My bad. I didn’t mean to make judgments on your intelligence, as you wait for an elevator to go up one or two floors. Maybe you’re just trying to waste time, that makes it ok, I guess?
Anyway what I was getting at is - I bring this badge with me to work every day, and the first thing I do after putting a shirt on is to put it around my neck, so what happened this morning? I was thinking about pancakes. And how pancakes would be really awesome, and where could I find pancakes at 5am, and how McDonalds has pretty good pancakes, or “hotcakes” if you will. It must have been then. Distracted by my vigilance to get the object of my obsession, which, granted, changes every 20 minutes and just happened to be pancakes during this 20 minute time span, I picked up my keys, wallet, cell phone, and left my badge, which was next to all of them. How? Because I was blinded by tiredness and a deep seeded carnal hunger for pancakes.
I got those pancakes by the way. I smothered them to death with butter and the ones that survived I massacred with a fork and knife; I almost drank their syrupy blood afterwards. But that would have been inhumane. Pancakes deserve respect and should not be desecrated by such debauchery. (I would like to point out that Pancakes do not feel pain and thus no Pancakes were harmed during the consumption process.)
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Thu, 12/17/2009 - 2:28pm — warriorGood site! especially I like the design! Driver Genius Pro v.9.0.0.186 Final [Multilingual - Full]
Maybe because you was then
Fri, 11/13/2009 - 6:26am — oklanaMaybe because you was then too good in alcohol. Alcohol is a brain depressant.Try to watch your alcohol intake, it might cause you unhealthy immune system.The buzz, which has only intensified since it is the 40th Anniversary of Sesame Street, began a few years ago when some people started complaining that Cookie Monster advocated an unhealthy diet to kids and to some. Since then, the blue, furry…thing…with the death metal voice has been telling kids to eat healthier diets, and lead more active lives, and there have been numerous Sesame Street public service announcements with just such a message, so don't go wasting short term loans trying to block a Cookie Monster Veggie Monster conversion that won't ever take place.